Writing My Emotions

My cheeks are flushed, My head is soft, My eyes are swimming, My tongue is tangled, My kisses are sweet, Awh... Wine how you seduce me.

The rain reminded me of you today, Of your tears that I can not stop from flowing, It gently slid down my cheeks cool and wet, I wanted to tell you I miss you, That Autumn is coming and you're not here, The Cottonwoods are changing, Oranges, reds, yellows, and browns, The Rio Grande looks like it was braided with colorful ribbons, I ache to dance with you beneath the desert sky, To feel the sand beneath our feet, and the breeze upon our faces, The scent of sage surrounding our warm bodies, I hope one day again we will share a Fall together, With cups of Chai and good conversation. Your, Q

I'm scared of what you are, of what you represent, You reflect back at me everything I fear and can not control, Why? Why is it so hard to let go, To accept the things I have no power over or sway, You are the embodiment of everything I am afraid of, I can't change you, I can't fight you, I can't make you bow to me, I can't keep you, Will it be easier when you are gone? When I no longer have my mirror in front of me?

It was musty, quaint, and pleasantly strange, I thought it was Heaven at first, Books littered the old linoleum floor, Narrow paths lined with yellowed pages, Shelves groaning from the weight of sleeping stories, I ran my fingers over their worn and weary bindings, Stretched spines from hours of enjoyment, Leafs of the written word wrapped in leather bound covers, Cramped corners piled high with paperbacks, Stacks upon stacks of steamy romances, cut throat killers, cat burglars, Piles of buried treasure, crafty hobbies, creatures from the unknown, As I sat in that secluded niche by the drafty window, Sunlight pierced the glass and laid upon those memorable stories, Stories, that took me back to my favorite adventures.

Peace...Oblivion is at my doorstep... Inches from my feet, my cold bare feet. The blood red nail polish, boldly contrasting my pale, cold, bare feet. I want to dip my toes into it, to see how cool and quiet it is. Its feeling so intoxicating as it wraps around me, and tugs at my very soul. I want it. I want it more than anything, to know that ecstasy that only peace can offer me. I want the silence and the freedom that go with it. But will it make me luminous? Will it make my heart beat fast in my chest? My breath quick and short? My cheeks flushed? My laughter rich? My eyes dance? My mind race? No it will not bring me that. There is only one that could offer such a gift, a gift of life. That one is Chaos.

You have skin the color of hot cocoa, That I want to sip and savor, Your eyes are rich, dark, fathomless, Lips I ache to taste; salty sweet, A disarming smile, Making my stomach quake and shudder, I have dreamt of your touch, How you will take my flesh beneath yours, Bodies arching toward clever fingers and gentle hands, Passion ensnaring; lust seizing, Sweat slicked skin against quivering muscle, My very being is withered without you , I yearn to feel your warm breath upon my cheek, To know your touch is near, I watch as the candles dance shadows across your face, Our hearts beat in sync with one another, I know you can never be mine, So I will take this moment, this ecstasy, this bittersweet pain, Close my eyes and breath a sigh of relief.

We talk of secrets, of dreams we've dreamed, You tell me your countless thoughts, I bring you my problems, We argue the future, we reminisce of the past, My tongue is tangled with words for you, I read your faces, as you know my moods, You push my thoughts to the brink, I challenge your theories, You want simple, I am complicated, I give, you question, You are irreplaceable , I am the exception, I seek your wisdom, you ask my opinion, Your words like a warm blanket, My voice a soothing balm, I am your key, you are my confidant

Night is knocking at my screen door... Her cold bony fingers scratching against the scarred wood. Reminding me again that she's still out there. Waiting... I see her frigid face staring back at me. Her icy breath fogging my windows. She motions me to come hither, I smile and wave and mouth to her, "It's not time for me to play." As I lay down to sleep and dream, I hear the sharp slap of the screen door and the weeping of the night.